def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
