So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
As shirtless as possible
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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