Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
