Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
