just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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