i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
