Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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