I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
