I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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