Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
