yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
