he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
