You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So many bounce houses so little time
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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