so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
