P.S. I can't hear my feet
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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