i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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