there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
