Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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