A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
