i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
