I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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