Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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