this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
