Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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