Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
