i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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