:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
