Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
