I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
