Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
