she looked like the before picture.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
