It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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