I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The beer is more important than you right now.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
