Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
