I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
