the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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