The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Someone came in the potted fern
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
