we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
