Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
