It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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