the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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