Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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