Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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