i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
