if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
