just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
