I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i believe in u and ur pee
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