are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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