If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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