have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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