and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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