With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
